In an Operetta
My daughter came up to me last night, all bouncy and excited and said, "Mom! I can sing opera! Listen!" She then unleashed the most unholy sound that made not only the baby Jesus cry, but made all eardrums within a 5 mile radius rupture and bleed. I couldn't keep the pained wince off my face. I gently sat her down for yet another "talk".
Me: "Honey, you know I love you, right?"
The Girl: "Uh huh! I sing good, right?"
Me: "You know I don't lie to you, right?"
The Girl: "Uh huh! Wanna hear me sing again?"
Me: "NO! Umm.. No. Thanks. Baby, didn't we have a talk about singing? I don't want you to feel badly about this. No one in our family can sing. That doesn't mean.."
The Girl: "Except me! I can sing opera! I'm loud!"
Me: "Yes. Very..loud. But loud doesn't always equal good. I know you love singing, Munchkin. It's good that you love singing! But.."
The Girl: "I love singing and I'm good, too!"
Me: "Not exactly.."
Mom: "Sweetie, maybe if you pract-"
Me: "NO! No practicing. Ok, kiddo. I'm gonna give it to you straight. No one in this family can sing. No one."
The Girl: "Except me! I can sing opera! See?"
Much screeching ensued. The gentle sounds of weeping could be heard in the background.
Me: "Please stop! Please! Baby, you can't sing opera. No! No, you can't. You can't sing. That doesn't mean you..have to stop singing. You could sing quietly, right? Quiet is good."
The Girl: "But I'm a good.."
Me: "I'm sorry, Munch. Not good. But look at me! I can't sing! I sing really badly but that doesn't stop me! I just don't hurt people's ears because I'm not loud with it."
The Girl: "I can sing!"
Me: "Oh, you're just being stubborn now."
So if you hear an ungodly screech, I'm very sorry. I couldn't stop her. I recommend earplugs, a bottle of Percocets, and some vodka to wash them down with. It almost worked for me.
Something Vague by Erratic Prophet @ 12:14 PM
7 hidden tracks
7 Things You Say:
So THAT'S what that noise was last night. And I thought it was just "American Idol." My parents had that talk with me about my singing, too. Fortunately, they let me play musical instruments instead and I turned out to be pretty good at that. Maybe you should hook her up with a saxophone? I have a spare one!
I threw her into dance classes. It's quiet. I like quiet.
ARGH! For thirty years I taught a class called "Songs for Non-Singers" and it was full of people who ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years later remembered with sorrow that their parents (friends, teachers) told them they couldn't sing. They feel bad about it ALL THEIR LIVES. I also ask: we would never think of telling a child: "you will never learn to read" so why is it ok to make a blanket statement about their singing? There can be lots of reasons why kids don't sing perfectly. If we discouraged them this way on the other things they don't do perfectly they would be paralyzed. I hope you apologize to your daughter and spend some time singing WITH her. Otherwise, fifty years from now she's going to be telling some teacher how you crushed her when she was little. I'm telling you. It's true.
I think you overestimate the impact of my words on my daughter. She's singing right now.
I'm not being cruel to the girl. I don't want her wandering around cluelessly like some American Idol reject. I praise her for her talents. She's an exceedingly creative child who not only writes wonderful stories, but illustrates them as well.
We all have our limitations. I'm not saying she should accept them or never hope, I just want her to be self-aware. I don't think constructive criticism will destroy her self-esteem.
This leads me to a mini-rant. Why do people think that we should coddle and excessively praise our children? It hasn't made them become more conscionable teens and adults. In fact, I think it has harmed more than helped. It has built a sense of entitlement in them. They think they are wonderful and perfect and nothing is their fault and so on. I have seen this in my children's classmates time and time again. It frustrates me beyond belief.
I'd better stop now before I become even more incoherent.
encourage her to join chorus in schoool - key words - IN SCHOOL. My mom always told me when I was little i sucked at singing. It ruined my self esteem so badly though I still sang around her. When I was in highschool I was hysterical over having to sing in front of my theater class... guess what? i could sing. My voice matured enough. AFter that i went on to win theater competitions for singing!! If she likes to do it encourage her to join in at school so you are only subjected to small tidbits....AT SCHOOL.. not american idol or anything
Oh please. The best thing you can do to a kid who is caterwauling like that is tell them that you love them, but that they will never be the next Whitney Houston.
Thousands of parents NEGLECTED this very important duty and that's why we have shows like American Idol. And kiddie beauty pageants.
My mother loves the awful goodness of the American Idol auditions. My daughter came into the room and-- this is a direct quote! no tweaking!-- said to my mom, "These people are awful! Didn't anyone love them enough to tell them that they couldn't sing?"
Apparently not, Munchkin.
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